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Another visiting was racing what Olaf was second: Lars was part home after a supreme in the tote. The Club observes that they are third enjoying themselves. The one of the 17th of May might end in something about this. At the end, take commands "It wants to go to cod, stand up.

He asked the old man, How in the world did Looking for a lunch buddy in norway place get a name like Hans Olaffsen's Laundry? Old Man - That's the name of the owner. Loojing Man - Who's nprway owner? Old Man - I am. Young Man - How did you Lookiny a name like Loooking Olaffsen? A man in front of me was a iin blond Budy. The lady from Immigration asked him, What is your name? He say "Hans Olaffsen". Lady ask me, What is your name? I say Sam Ting. Lena Looking for a lunch buddy in norway the airlines information desk and inquired, "How long does it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo? Making da wood stove hotter Log Off: Don't add no more wood Monitor: Keepin an eye on da wood Download: Getting da wood off da truck Megahertz: Ven yer not careful getting da firewood Floppy Disk: Vat yew get from trying tew carry tew much wood Ram: Dat ting dat splits da wood Fir Drive: Getting home in Women taking panties off winter time in the snow Prompt: Vat norrway mail ain't in da winter time Windows: Vat yew shut when it's cold outside Screen: Vat yew shut vens it's black fly season Byte: Vat dem dang black flies Loooing Chip: Munchies fer da TV Microchip: Vats in da bottom of da munchies bag Modem: Vat yew did tew da hay fields Keyboard: Where yew hang da keys Software: Dem dang plastic forks and knives Mouse: Vat eats da grain in da barn Mainframe: Holds up da barn roof Port: Fancy wine Nuddy Access Memory: Ven yew can't remember vat yew paid fer da rifle, ven yer wife asks.

Divorce The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. The Devil Lookiing that they are really enjoying themselves. He says to them 'Doesnt the heat and smoke bother you? When he returns to the room of the two from Minnesotathe devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking beer. The lhnch is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is in misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves? He can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives.

The devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell. The next morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole x Sven. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men. The devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now its freezing cold Lokking you're still happy. What is wrong aa you two? The US Mint announced today that it is recalling all of the Minnesota quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each state.

This action is being taken after numerous reports that the new quarters will not work in parking meters, toll booths, vending machines, pay phones or any other coin operated devices. The problem lies in the unique design of the Minnesota quarter, which was designed by a couple of Norwegian specialists, Sven and Ole. Apparently the duct tape holding the two dimes and the nickel together keeps jamming up the machines. School days Ole's neighbor Sven had a boy, Sven Junior, who came home one day and asked, "Papa, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. Is dat becoss I'm Norvegian? Lars asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a canoe?

Salesman "Ole and Lena were visited by a door to door salesman, Lowell Thompson. He tried to convince them if they bought the big freezer he was selling, they would save enough on food bills to pay for the freezer. Ole responded that they were paying for the house on what they were saving on rent. And they were saving on movie tickets with the price of cable TV. So, I guess ve have to say, ve can't afford to save any more right now. A Cannibal tribe lived on the island, and they imprisoned the three men. The cannibals gave each of them a final wish. First they asked the Norwegian. The Norwegian wanted to see his wife once more. The cannibals went to find the wife.

After he saw his wife, the Norwegian was eaten, and the cannibals made a canoe out of his skin. The Finn wanted to smoke one more cigarette. He got his cigarette. After he was finished, he was eaten and his skin was used to make a canoe. Then came the Swede's turn - he wanted a fork. He started to punch holes into himself, and yelled: The Norwegian smashed the first bottle on the Swede's head, then the second and so on, but he stopped after smashing nine bottles. One Swede goes into a box and the other Swede tries to guess which Swede is in it. The Winning Norwegian There was a sandwich machine in a Norwegian factory. Olaf didn't quite understand what the machine was about though.

Finally he had a huge pile of sandwiches. Another worker was wondering what Olaf was doing: I am just starting to win big! I am talking to the duck. What is the difference between Swedes and Norwegians? The Swedes have nice neighbors! In the bar A bar customer asked the bartender if he wanted to hear a Swede joke. I'd have to explain it three times. Then, the Swedes throw firecrackers at the Norwegians. The Sun A Swedish space-scientist came running into the office of his Norwegian colleague. The Norwegian colleague responded, "But the temperature will be millions of degrees there!

Logical A Swedish truck driver once got stuck in a tunnel in Norway. Soon a Norwegian came by the tunnel and found out that the truck was wedged in with the load stuck against the ceiling. The Norwegian suggested that the Swede let the air out of the tires. The Swede looked angrily at him, "You moron! The truck is stuck up on top. The Swede didn't believe him, and they ended up betting Kroner on it. When the movie was over and the hero was dead, the Swede began to give the money to the Norwegian, but the Norwegian interrupted him "I already saw the movie, so I knew he was going to die. They each got to choose which way they would die. The Norwegian chose the guillotine, because he saw it as the latest fashion.

His head went under, but the blade stopped 1 inch from his neck. The French saw this as a sign from God or something and decided to let him go. The same thing happened to the Dane. Then they asked the Swede how he wanted to die. Long days The little Swedish kid asked his teacher why the days in the summer were so much longer. The teacher answered, "Oh, that's because the heat makes everything expand. The first day he managed to paint 2 kilometers, and his boss was very pleased. The next day he only painted meters, but his boss thought that he'd probably started off too hard on the first day. But on the third day he was only able to paint 20 meters.

The boss called him into the office and demanded an explanation. Bus ride There was this group of people on a tour-bus. The guide on the bus asked if anyone on the bus could tell the rest a joke, whereupon a Norwegian got up and said that he could tell a Swedish joke. Suddenly a woman in the back of the bus said, "No, don't do that. We'll explain it to you afterwards. As he was listening to the radio the music was suddenly interrupted by a warning message which said that there was a car driving the wrong way on the highway. There was this Swede who once got home and found his wife in bed with another man. He was so angry that he got a gun and pointed it to his own head.

Don't do that," his wife begged. You'll be next," the angry Swede replied. A Norwegian drove into a Swedish gas station, and wanted some help with his signal lights. After he'd changed the light-bulb, he asked the Swede to check if it was blinking. The Swede looked at it and said, "funkar, funkar inte, funkar, funkar inte. Pregnant "Daddy, I'm pregnant," the daughter said. Are you sure it's yours?

Foggy One foggy night off the southwestern coast of Norway, a Swedish battle ship received a radio signal in Norwegian telling it to shift course 10 degrees to the west. The Swedish captain bristled, and replied that the sender Looking for a lunch buddy in norway shift HIS course 10 degrees to the east! Moments later the reply came telling the Swedish ship to move 10 degrees to the west. He turned to the radio operator and yelled, "Yu tell dat dumb norveegian to shift 10 degrees to da east! A policeman came by and thought to himself: He went up to him and said: Then, a Swedish comrad came along and asked what had just happened. I told him that I had counted 50 floors when I had really counted 51!

One of his friends came by and asked why the heck he threw away every second nail? His friend became furious with him and shouted, "How stupid can you get? Don't you realize that those nails were made to be used on the other side of the house??? All his life he'd wanted to have a pair of alligator-shoes, and now he thought he would finally be able to get around to buying a pair. Gator shoes are of course expensive, and haggling down the price didn't help. If that's how it's going to be then I'll just get myself a boat, go out into the swamp, catch a gator and make my own shoes! After a while he finds two Swedes standing up to their knees in the water.

Both of them are holding a spear pointed at the water. That must be the Swedes the Norwegian thinks. Suddenly there's a movement in the water and an alligator swims towards one of the Swedes. The Swede is standing there like a statue, just waiting for the big gator to get closer. When the gator is close by the Swede sticks his spear into the gator, and with a bit of fighting he get's the beast onto the land, where there is a big pile of gators. The Swede turns the gator on his back and examines it's feet, and then finally utters, "Damn!

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No shoes on this one either! Later they returned to Sweden to test the dog, but they were rather disappointed. Finally one of the guys said "We've been cheated, we might as well just Lookkng the dog away. Throw him up in the air again, and llunch he doesn't fly we'll just have to Looking for a lunch buddy in norway him away to someone else. Her problem with it: If the person who says it certainly did not enjoy your company, they might say it in a deeply sarcastic tone. Marka Take a peek into an office in Norway anytime between November and April. See everybody staring out the window? Well, some of them are probably longing for the beaches x the Norday Islands or Thailand.

The others are staring at the woods in the distance. They are longing for marka — they so desperately want to go on that little skiing trip. Cross-country skiing in the woods means a few hours of solitude, a workout, and some pretty scenery to boot. Marka is the name of any forested areas that surround a city or town. They mostly exist for recreational purposes: Buses and in Oslo subway lines service them. There are massive parking lots at the entrances to these woods. Faenmeg is just an intensifier. Faenskap is the kind of mean-ish pranks teenagers get up to. We eat a lot of bread — 80 kilos of the stuff per person annually. A rather standard Norwegian breakfast and lunch will consist of some slices of bread with something put on them.

Whose greatest thrill in life is to put three sugars in his coffee instead of two? Whose last visit to a pub was the night the Berlin Wall fell? The soft man is not afraid to display emotion, he does his share of the housework, and he plays with the kids. But he might also be found watching Champions League football with his buddies after the kids have gone to bed and he has emptied out the dishwasher. He might also speed on the highway, or order the spiciest dish at an Indian restaurant. The slipper hero is not quite so daring. This story was produced through the travel journalism programs at MatadorU.

Takk for maten Some of the etiquette when attending a dinner in a Norwegian home is pretty common.

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